the trial

by nick nelson

the date for jonathon’s trial finally arrived. a guard led him down a long corridor to a door numbered 353. the guard opened the door and motioned jonathon inside. the guard then backed out and closed the door behind her, leaving jonathon alone with the judge. the room was small and windowless, but well lit by a bulb in the ceiling. the judge was an ordinary looking man with neatly combed white hair, seated behind a small table. the only other furniture in the room was a straight backed wooden chair facing the table, and the judge pointed to it and jonathon sat down on it. the only things jonathon could see on the table in front of the judge were a glass of water and a manila folder, open, with a single piece of paper in it. the judge looked down at the paper. your name is jonathon johnson? he asked. yes, sir. my name is judge wilson, and i hope we can transact this business in a timely fashion. yes, sir. and you are charged with - ? the judge looked at jonathon and smiled. thinking bad thoughts at a crowded intersection, jonathon replied. yes, that is what i have here, the judge nodded. and how long have you been in custody, jonathon? seventeen years, five months, and thirteen days. it’s good that you keep track. and how have you been treated? well enough, i guess. tell me, what is your favorite thing about being in custody? um - the jelly donuts they give you for breakfast on wednesday morning. i am glad you like them. and the entertainment, is it satisfactory? yes, sir. what are your favorite shows? star wars. and i like the bible shows on the history channel. good. that shows you have good values. jonathon made no reply, and the judge sighed, and turned as if looking out the nonexistent window. you know, jonathon, you have had a nice snug berth in here for seventeen years, but out there - out there things have gotten much, much worse. you do not want to know how much worse. the judge shook his head and turned back to jonathon. so i think it would be best for all concerned if you would just plead guilty. but - come on, jonathon, don’t be an asshole. help me out here, and let’s just keep the line moving. all right, sir. thank you. i could see as soon as you walked in, that you were a sensible person. the judge pressed a little button on the table, and the guard re-entered and took jonathon back to his cell. another person, also named jonathon johnson, but a little younger and heavier, was escorted into the judge’s chamber.