joe bink and bill frup were best friends.
joe was a complete asshole.
bill was a great guy.
people wondered why they were friends.
if someone asked joe why bill was his friend, instead of giving his usual sarcastic asshole answer, he would look at the ground and mumble, well, that’s hard to say.
and if someone asked bill why joe was his friend, instead of looking the questioner in the eye and answering in his usual straight-shooting way, he would look off into space and say, you know, that’s a good question.
joe and bill fell in love with the same girl.
her name was marcy smith and she worked at the convenience store attached to the gas station.
marcy did not return the interest of either joe or bill.
people, including her best friend shirley lemay, asked her why.
because they are a couple of assholes, marcy would reply.
but bill is a great guy, they would say.
no, he is just as much of an asshole as joe, marcy insisted.
and then people would think about it and say, you know, you are right, bill is just as much of an asshole as joe.
after that people stopped paying much attention to either joe or bill.
but they remained good friends and went to the movies together and played pinball at larry’s out on route ten.
sometimes they could be seen at softball games, sitting together apart from the crowd, and sharing a quart bottle of beer.
and they watched television together in joe’s lonely room and played tonk and casino and cribbage with the old cribbage board bill’s father had given him for his ninth birthday.
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