help

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

pittsburgh

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

box

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

mailbox

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

holiday

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

close your eyes

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

distribution

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

start slow

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

move on

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

dreams

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

your hat

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

what kind

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

wonder

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

waukegan

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

dangerous

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

barber shop

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

pool hall

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

together

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

paths

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

nothing wrong

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

in the weeds

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

sincerely

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

waking hours

for previous episode, click here

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

big words

to begin at the beginning, click here


next

john smith and joe

next

bud and the mugger

by nick nelson

bud davis had worked late, and was walking home to his lonely room through the dark streets of the great city. suddenly a man jumped out of an alley and brandished a pistol at him. the man looked vaguely familiar to bud, but he could not place him, even though the man was not wearing a mask or a handkerchief over his face. maybe, bud thought, he looks like somebody on tv. the man was, however, wearing a black chicago white sox baseball cap pulled down somewhat low over his eyes. what do you want from me? bud asked. i do not carry any money. i have a credit card, but it has been canceled. who said anything about money or credit cards, the man with the black white sox replied. i have other business with you. and what might that business be? bud asked. i don’t like your looks. what is wrong with my looks? your nose is not round enough. please don’t shoot me because my nose isn’t round enough. all right, i will shoot because you are fat. please don’t shoot me because i am fat. i’m trying. i lost twenty pounds in the last two months. all right, i will shoot you because your mother wore army boots. but my mother was never in the army. maybe she found them thrown out in the street, on a rainy day in seacausus, new jersey. all right then, i see that you are bound and determined to shoot me no matter what i say. now you begin to understand. can i ask you one question before you shoot me? go for it. why does a team calling itself the white sox have a black baseball cap? what kind of idiot are you, and what kind of a question is that, to ask when you stand on the brink of eternity? just then officer o’hara came along, twirling his nightstick. sure now, by all the saints in heaven, what’s all this bejabber? officer o’hara asked. and you, aren’t you little mikey o’donnell, who used to steal bananas from mister morelli’s grocery store? i never stole bananas, the mugger replied with a frown, only apples. why don’t you put that pistol away, mikey, before you hurt somebody with it? i was just showing it to my friend. oh, you were just showing it to your friend? why don’t you give it to me, and i will show it to my friend down at the station. oh, all right. officer o'hara took possession of the pistol and went on his way, twirling his nightstick. i wonder how much he will sell it for, mikey said. hard to say, bud replied. mikey muttered something under his breath. what did you say? bud asked. nothing. in that case i bid you good night.

the lost sheep

by corinne delmonico

a shepherd boy was walking down the road, looking for a lost sheep. there was a tree by the side of the road, and a cat was sitting on one of its branches. the cat, who was really a genie, asked the shepherd boy what he would like to be. i am what i am, replied the shepherd boy. nonsense, the cat replied. life is a dream, and you can be anything you want to be. i am a genie, and i can grant you any wish you care to make. no thank you, the shepherd boy replied. suit yourself, the cat replied, and the shepherd boy went on his way. the cat who was really a genie waited in the tree, and a skunk came along. what would you like to be? the cat asked the skunk. life is a dream, and i am a genie, and i can grant you any wish, up to three wishes. in that case, the skunk replied, i would like to be a beautiful young princess, with a kingdom of my own. and i would like to be able to bewitch any human male i encounter. and i would like to be able to grant any wish to any man i wish to bewitch. very well, said the cat, your three wishes are granted. you will find your new kingdom two miles down the road. the former skunk had no sooner taken the form of a beautiful young princess than she hastened down the road, eager to claim her new kingdom. she quickly caught up with the shepherd boy, who had been carefully scanning the sides of the road and looking up and down byways for his lost sheep. you are a handsome fellow, the princess said to him when she saw him, how would you like to come away with me to my new kingdom and be my prince? i can also grant you any other wish you may have. no thank you, the shepherd boy replied, i am happy to be just what i am. well, in that case, said the princess, i wish you good day. and she hurried down the road to her new kingdom. the shepherd boy continued to look for his lost sheep. but he never found it.

the secretary

by bofa xesjum

cynthia jones was the most inefficient secretary jonathon wardell had ever had. he hoped that in time she could at least be taught to make a decent cup of coffee. one afternoon jonathon was in a particularly despairing mood. he had lost the kenniston account, and his bother-in-law, to whom jonatthon had donated two thousand dollars, had lost his bid for the state assembly. he summoned cynthia, intending to ask her, as politely as possible, to try to make him a halfway tolerable cup of coffee. but before he could get the request out of his mouth, cynthia blurted out - oh, mister wardell, there is a man who wants to see you and i can’t get rid of him. he is dressed in a ringmaster’s uniform, you know, like in the circus, and he has his lion with him, you know? jonathon detested the use of the ubiquitous “you know” by the younger generations.

something different

by nick nelson

so, what are we going to do tonight? i thought we’d do the usual, fuck with some guys, fuck some broads. maybe fuck somebody up good. i thought maybe we could do something a little different. like what? i thought maybe we could go the opera, or the symphony, something like that. very funny, vinnie. that’s really funny. no, i’m serious. hear mr out. it’s about diversification. diversity! are you shitting me? don’t say that word around me. not diversity, diversification. it’s a different thing. this is the modern age, right, the twenty-first century? i guess. i was reading this book and it says to survive in the modern age you can’t just be one thing, or the same thing all the time. because then you become predictable and everybody that’s chasing you can catch you from behind and drag you down. so who’s chasing us? everybody! that’s the point, the whole modern world is chasing you faster and faster every day. so what would you suggest? listen. first off, we can’t be vinnie and tony and joey all the time. we should be jeffrey and dylan and adam some of the time, or really go for it and be chester and lance and derek. i don’t know. come on, let’s give it a try. it won’t hurt to give it a try. * later that night. chester and lance and derek arrive at the symphony. the first thing they see, standing outside. the entrance, are three women. not the youngest women, or the thinnest women, but women. and they look like they are waiting for something. they are not actually wearing mink coats or wearing buckets of diamonds, or holding lorgnettes. but to chester and lance and derek they look like they are. good evening, ladies, chester addresses them. good evening to you, one of the ladies answers him. i’m chester, and these are my friends lance and derek. i am cynthia wallford-thornton, and this is my cousin alicia cosgrove-benson, and this is the countess of denworth, here on a visit. we are pleased to meet you. are you gentlemen fond of charles ives? you must be , if you are here tonight. charles is o k, but do you know what we really like? no, what? we like to have a good time. why, so do we! you know, i have a feeling old charles might not be on his game tonight. that could very well be. and in any case, we have experienced hm so many times before. i think we are moving in the same direction here. indeed. there is a cab over there , why don’t you see if he is engaged.? i will do that. do you think we can all squeeze in to it? why not? it sounds like a good way to start having a good time. the cab was a large one, and it took off with the three gentlemen sitting on the laps of the three ladies. chester thought the driver looked familiar. it was jerry the squid, from bayonne! but if jerry recognized chester and derek and lance he did not say so. jerry guided the cab expertly through the heavy traffic, heading uptown. a light rain began to fall.

tricks

by nick nelson

“i am sorry to have discovered your true nature, philip, but at least i have the satisfaction , such as it is, of discovering it in time to prevent a complete disaster for myself and my distinguished lineage. i hope you will not make things difficult by any pathetic attempt to excuse yourself.” “no, jessica, i know when the game is up. i bid you farewell, and will not trouble you, or your solicitors, again.” “thank you. if you will, please leave by the french window behind you. i would not have you being seen by any of the guests, who might ask awkward questions. when you have crossed the lawn and passed the gazebo, you will find a path which will lead you to the king’s highway, and from there you can walk to the town, or across the moors, whichever you prefer.” philip bowed, and left by the french window, as instructed. it was a calm night, with a full moon. philip walked across the lawn, which did not seem quite so broad as he remembered it, and quickly came to the highway. what now? he had staked everything on marrying jessica and her fortune, and had lost. all his old pals would either have forgotten him, or felt that he had betrayed them. he had not gone ten yards down the road before he came to a tree. the tree had a single long limb about twenty feet from the ground and the limb had a rope wth an expertly knotted noose hanging from it. the noose was about ten feet from the ground. a footstool had been thoughtfully placed under the noose. all this was clearly visible in the bright moonlight. philip considered the tree, the rope, the noose, the footstool, and the moon. just then he saw a light on the moor. it seemed to be from a small fire. philip dedided to approach the fire, and struck across the moor. he found what was indeed a small fire, with a whitehaired tramp, with a small pipe in his mouth, seated in front of it. a battered knapsack lat at his feet. a little dog was seated beside the tramp. it gave a perfunctory little bark at philip, but dd not move. “does that dog do tricks?” philip asked the tramp. “it will do such tricks as it can be taught,” the tramp replied, without taking the pipe from his mouth. “how much do you want for him?” philip asked. “five shillings.” philip happened to have ten shillings in his pocket. he handed five of them to the tramp, and the dog, who seemed to understand what was being transacted, got up and followed philip back to the road. if philip had looked back, which he did not, he would have seen that the tramp had been transformed into a beautiful darkhaired young woman, wearing a red ballroom dress with puffed sleeves. as the philip and the dog reached the highway, the young woman took a small ebony-backed hand mirror out of the knapsack. philip and the dog headed to the town. “what is your name?” philip asked the dog. “a dog who can do good tricks needs a good name.” * jessica married lord f________, and they lived together for forty years, without scandal or incident.