the lost sheep

by corinne delmonico

a shepherd boy was walking down the road, looking for a lost sheep. there was a tree by the side of the road, and a cat was sitting on one of its branches. the cat, who was really a genie, asked the shepherd boy what he would like to be. i am what i am, replied the shepherd boy. nonsense, the cat replied. life is a dream, and you can be anything you want to be. i am a genie, and i can grant you any wish you care to make. no thank you, the shepherd boy replied. suit yourself, the cat replied, and the shepherd boy went on his way. the cat who was really a genie waited in the tree, and a skunk came along. what would you like to be? the cat asked the skunk. life is a dream, and i am a genie, and i can grant you any wish, up to three wishes. in that case, the skunk replied, i would like to be a beautiful young princess, with a kingdom of my own. and i would like to be able to bewitch any human male i encounter. and i would like to be able to grant any wish to any man i wish to bewitch. very well, said the cat, your three wishes are granted. you will find your new kingdom two miles down the road. the former skunk had no sooner taken the form of a beautiful young princess than she hastened down the road, eager to claim her new kingdom. she quickly caught up with the shepherd boy, who had been carefully scanning the sides of the road and looking up and down byways for his lost sheep. you are a handsome fellow, the princess said to him when she saw him, how would you like to come away with me to my new kingdom and be my prince? i can also grant you any other wish you may have. no thank you, the shepherd boy replied, i am happy to be just what i am. well, in that case, said the princess, i wish you good day. and she hurried down the road to her new kingdom. the shepherd boy continued to look for his lost sheep. but he never found it.

the star

by corinne delmonico

kenneth had had a long day, but he decided to see mrs williams before he left. he had already put her off two nights in a row, and he decided to get it over with. “you wanted to see me, mrs williams?” he asked without looking her in the face, as she settled her bulky form into the one little chair he had for visitors in his little office. “it’s about doris, sir.” doris was one of kennerh’s sixth grade pupils, an apathetic and anonymous child, but one that would surely be graduated in a few weeks, before the summer break began. “what about doris, mrs williams?” “it’s about the stars, sir.” “stars?” “yes, sir, the stars that the children get for doing something good - for doing something special.” “of course. and what about those stars?” “well you see, sir, doris has never gotten one of those stars. not one, in the eight years she has been in school, in pre-school and in the six grades.” kenneth wanted to say, “has she ever deserved one?” but he just said, “and?” “it’s just a little thing, sir, but it seems to mean a lot to her. she is kind of a lonely child, and doesn’t get along very well with the other children… and… and for some reason she has become kind of obsessed with these stars and… it would just mean so much to her if you could give her one… just one… before the end of the school year. she is so nervous, you see, about going on to middle school…” kenneth interrupted. “has doris done anything in particular, anything special that she feels she deserves a star for?” “um - not that i know. but it would just mean…” “i am sorry, mrs williams, but the stars are given to the children for a purpose. a purpose that was determined…” he started to say, “before you and i were born” but was that true? “if we started giving out stars for no reason, just on a whim, it would mean…”. what would it mean? “it would mean the end of civilization.” “oh. well, sir, i just thought it would not hurt to ask.” “that’s all right, ma’am. we appreciate that you care enough to come in and talk to us. so many parents these days don’t have enough interest to do that.” kenneth recited the rote phrases. of course he would have liked to never have to set eyes on a parent. * it was a humid night. after his encounter with mrs williams, kenneth decided to treat himself to a trip across town to danny’s, which he had not visited for about a week. he hoped sonia would be there. danny’s was the last old fashioned bar in the city. it did not do a very good business and would probably close soon. when kenneth walked in it was empty. the single tv above the bar was turned down low. danny’s had a constant turnover in bartenders, but kenneth recognized this fellow, and felt that the recognition was mutual. none of the bartenders liked kenneth much because he never left tips. kenneth did not believe in tipping, especially people he was convinced made more money than he did. he thought that anybody who received tips, and panhandlers, all made more than he got in his paychecks. sonia was not at her usual place at the bar. sonia was the town tramp, and had been for a long time. the young people in town, male and female, generally left it as soon as possible, and no young woman had stayed behind to challenge sonia’s position. “has sonia been in tonight?” kenneth asked the bartender. “no, man. i guess you didn’t hear. sonia collapsed outside about a week ago. 911 came and took her away.” “oh. is she all right?” “i don’t know, brother. i haven’t heard anything. i suppose you over to the hospital and ask. or maybe the police.” the bartender gave kenneth an evil little smirk, almost as evil as the one kenneth had given mrs williams earlier in the evening. kenneth just nodded. “what can i get you?” the bartender asked. “a heineken.” “coming right up. you want the tv turned up?” “no, that’s all right.” kenneth finished his heineken and went home. he was sure he would never see sonia again. there was no way he was going to ask the hospital or the police about her. he cried himself to sleep, as he done so many times in the past.

frankie and johnny

by corinne delmonico

frankie and johnny were lovers. but not for much longer. the war was over. it had ended suddenly. frankie and johnny had a good thing going. frankie was a secret agent for the parthians, pretending to be a spy for the scythians. johnny was a secret agent for the scythians, pretending to be a spy for the parthians. frankie reported directly to miss nellie fly, the leader of the parthians. and johnny reported directly to mean old stagger lee, the leader of the scythians. frankie and johnny were each other’s contacts. they had no secrets from each other. no two people had ever been so in love. they met in the moonlight, on the waterfront, down by the river, on street corners, in sordid dives, in all night diners, in the bars and lobbies of swank hotels, in glittering casinos where they rubbed elbows with the real rulers of the world. they hoped it would last forever, that the war would go on forever. and then out of nowhere, miss nellie fly and mean old stagger lee had a secret meeting, and the war was over. the parthians got the west, and the scythians got the east. double agents like frankie and johnny would be exposed, and either shot or put on the chain gang. there was one place left on earth for them to go - easter island. it was midnight. frankie and johnny waited on a little airstrip outside st louis. the mighty mississippi rolled behind them. they were waiting for a guy named lucky lindy. he had a three seater plane and frankie told johnny she had paid lindy to fly them to easter island. they saw a single light in the foggy sky. “that must be him,” said johnny. “it all worked out in the end,” said frankie. johnny kept looking up at the sky and laughed. “the end? i thought it was just beginning. you got to look at the bright side.” johnny turned at looked at frankie. she was holding a gun in her hand. “what the -?” johnny gasped. “you thought you had me fooled, didn’t you, johnny?” “what is this? what’s going on?” johnny stammered. “what about easter island?” “i’m going to easter island. with lindy. he’s a straight shooter, not a cheap two-timing punk like you.” “but - “ “the time for talk is over, johnny.” frankie pulled the trigger three times. two slugs ripped into johnny’s guts and the third found his heart. the sound of the shots drifted away over the river. the little plane landed and frankie ran to meet it. but lindy did not emerge from it. instead, two men in gray suits that frankie had never seen before got out. “my name is hoover,” the shorter of the two men said. “and this is agent purvis. we are from joint peace conference headquarrters, miss lee, and we have a warrant for your arrest.” “you’ve got some explaining to do,” agent purvis snickered “so do you,” frankie answered. hoover laughed. “be that as it may, we hope you’ll come quietly.” “i’ll come quietly,” frankie said. “it’s over. all over.” purvis looked over at johnny’s body. “who was he?” “he was my man,” said frankie, “and he was doing me wrong.”

everybody means everybody

by corinne delmonico

it was the emperor’s birthday. again. the emperor had been emperor longer than anybody could remember. but his birthdays were always celebrated with suitable pomp, and a holiday proclaimed throughout the empire. the emperor was known to enjoy some of his birthdays more than others. the emperor’s favorite throne was brought out and placed on a high platform in the main square of the imperial capital and he ascended the steps to it, with the help of the lord chamberlains and his most faithful servants, and he sat down on it. a crowd of several millions - the entire population of the capital as well as hordes brought into from the countryside - thronged the streets around the platform and throne. the imperial band played the good old times the emperor himself preferred, as well as some modernistic fare attuned to the taste of the younger generations of citizens. the lord high chamberlain offered a few heartfelt words. as did the crown prince, and another couple of dozen of the emperor’s male and female children. the bishops and hierophants and gurus of the empire’s more prominent religions spoke at greater length, some of them at much greater length. generals and admirals of the imperial armies and navies spoke glowing words about the emperor’s leadership, and about the great peace that had lasted so long under his wise reign, and pledged to do everything in their power to maintain it. all expressed gratitude for the emperor’s existence, and sincere hope that it would last indefinitely. at length the speeches ended, and preparations were made for the grand finale of the celebration, an elaborate dance to be performed by a hundred of the most beautiful maidens of the empire. but before the dance could begin, a small child suddenly broke away from the ranks of the crowd closest to the front of the platform, and ran across the thirty yards of empty space toward the imperial guards surrounding the platform. i don’t like the emperor! the child cried. not one little bit! he is just a a smelly old dumbhead! the child was quickly seized by the imperial guard and taken away and summarily executed. the emperor became hysterical and collapsed, and was hurriedly taken away by the imperial chamberlains and physicians. the hundred beautiful maidens gamely attempted to go on with their dance, but the celebration had been destroyed, and the crowd began to melt away, assisted in doing so by the imperial city police. on being brought back to the imperial chambers, the emperor could not be consoled. will you never understand, he kept repeating, will you never understand, that true peace and harmony will never prevail in the universe until i am loved by everybody! everybody1 what part of everybody do you not understand? everybody means everybody! the imperial physicians finally got enough sedatives into the emperor to calm him down, and after hours of weeping and mumbling, he finally fell asleep. an investigation into the child’s background and associates had already been begun by the imperial security service. the night passed, the next day arrived, the emperor enjoyed his breakfast, and life in the empire went on as before.

twelve feet tall

by corinne delmonico

it was a nice day. cassie and candy met for lunch at mcdonald’s, as they did every wednesday. “look at this.” cassie handed her phone to candy. there was a news story on the screen. history gets a rewrite, read the headline. “local resident amy marker has had a book published in the fall by the university of a———— press,” candy read aloud. the story was illustrated of a photo of a tall, thin young woman with an uncertain smile. the book is entitled the other side of the shadow and describes all of human history entirely from the point of view of women. i decided to write this book, amy told our correspondent, blah, blah, blah…” candy handed the phone back to cassie with a shrug. “why are you showing me this?” “don’t you recognize her? amy marker! from high school!” “high school - that was a long time ago.” candy shook up her strawberry smoothie and took a sip of it through a straw, “you must remember her! the one who was about eight feet tall but wouldn’t go out for the basketball team. don’t you remember now?” “maybe.” “she was a total geek. we were real mean to her.” “we were real mean to everybody.” “so you do remember her. “ “no, i don’t remember her. i don’t remember the geeks. actually i don’t remember any girls, i only remember the cute guys, ha ha.” cassie would not give up. “it just isn’t right. she is going to be rich and famous and make a zillion dollars and go on jimmy kimmel and here we are sitting here sipping smoothies in mcdonalds. it’s not fair.” “i didn’t see anything about making a zillion dollars.” “she wrote a book, didn’t she? it will get made into a movie and win an oscar and she will be rich and famous forever. like harry potter.” “everybody who writes a book doesn’t get famous.” “i bet most of them do.” “my cousin wrote a book and put it on amazon. she’s not famous. go on amazon sometime, there’s more books in the world than people. they don’t all become famous.“ “i bet amy marker does. i can just feel it. and she wouldn’t go out for the basketball team even though she was ten feet tall. we would have won the state championship.” “let me see that again.” candy picked cassie’s phone up off the table. she brought the story about amy markham back up, and scrolled through it. “according to this, she is still working at a bookstore over on fifth street. so i guess she hasn’t made her million dollars yet. “ “she will,” cassie insisted. “we should go over and see her,” said candy. “talk about old times.” “yeah, right. we don’t have time, i have to get back to work.” “we can go next wednesday. or maybe friday or monday. why not? it will be something to do, break the monotony.” “you knew what we should do? we should kidnap her, hold her for ransom, make her give us some of the money she makes.” candy laughed. “that sounds like a great idea, very practical.” “why not? i bet the book is about us.” “no, it said the book is about the history of women.” “we’re women, aren’t we? i bet the book is about us. she owes us. and she owes us because she wouldn’t go out for the basketball team even though she was twelve feet tall and cost us the state championship.” “let’s go see her then. you can have a nice conversation with her about not winning the state championship.” * amy marker was the tallest girl in the world, and ever since she was eleven years old, people had been telling her two things - that she should play basketball and that she should be a porn star. but she had chosen to avoid both these activities, had gone to state college, and despite getting no encouragement from her teachers, who had advised addressing a less grandiose theme - like her own life - had written her history of the human race from the point of view of women, and to her own amazement had had it accepted and published by the university of a—————— press. now she was trying to get a job as an instructor at a college, so that she could quit the bookstore. although she actually enjoyed working at the bookstore well enough. amy had been a little disappointed at how few people coming into the bookstore had seemed to have seen the little piece in the local paper about her and the book. and how few had bought the book, especially at the reading and signing that sandy, the manager of the store, had been nice enough to arrange. musing on these things as she sat at the cash register, amy was suddenly presented with the shocking sight of candy zimmer and cassie robbins, two of her tormentors from middle school and high school. cassie looked around the store uncertainly, but candy gave amy a big smile. “hello, amy,” candy said. “remember us?” “oh, yes, of course.” “we read about your book in the paper,” candy said. i thought that was just great. congratulations. you must be so proud,” “uh - thank you.” “i bet your mom and dad are proud too.” “yes, they are.” “it’s great to see you again”, candy continued. “it’s nice to see you guys too.” cassie had still not spoken. finally she stopped looking around the store, and looked at amy. “did you go to college?” cassie asked amy. “yes, i did.” “did you play basketball?” amy smiled. “no, i did not.” “we would have won the state championship if you played.”

mister lee

by corinne delmonico

anna liked her new job at the a——— company well enough, even though it was pretty boring and she had no idea what she was doing, because it was preferable to sitting in her room starving and wondering if she would become homeless. the people at the a———— company, including her immediate supervisor, ms davis, were generally friendly and helpful. ms davis had work of her own which occupied most of her time, and was not the kind of supervisor who had nothing to do but supervise other people. not only that, she spent much of her time out of the office visiting other offices of the a—————— company. she seemed to spend most of her life in airports and on airplanes, an existence anna did not envy at all. anna worked alone at her own little desk, as did most of the other people in the office. very rarely did two or more people work together on a job or project. most of the work was assigned through a computer terminal and done on the computer terminal. anna found that the other employees were almost always helpful whenever she asked questions about the work. in fact, they usually seemed happy to interrupt their own work to talk to somebody else. the population of the office was about ninety percent female. anna saw few men, and none in a supervisory capacity. there was a mister johnson who was understood to be the “general manager” or big boss, but anna never saw him. he was as remote as a four star general to a private in the army. the men anna saw were mostly young men whom anna took to be gay. there was one older man, mister lee, who wore what looked to anna to be very heavy and uncomfortable old fashioned suits. he had been with the a———— company for “a thousand years”. anna thought he was kind of creepy. one morning mister lee approached anna’s desk. what can he want, anna thought, surely he doesn’t need any help from me, or have any question he needs to ask me. good morning, mister lee addressed anna. he made a slight movement with his head. a bow? good morning , anna replied. i would be honored, mister lee said, if you would allow me to buy you lunch today. anna was stupefied. i - i don’t think so , she managed to say, i like to go to lunch alone. i understand, mister lee replied with a little smile. he bobbed his head again, and was gone as quickly as he had appeared. anna’s first reaction was relief that she had not said anything to him at all that might be the least bit encouraging - no maybe, or i’ll think about it , or some other time. but she was completely creeped out, and could not get mister lee out of her head. word about the little incident got around the office and the other women laughed about it and thought mister lee was “cute” or pathetic. a couple of them assured anna that mister lee had been there for a thousand years and was harmless. anna was not so sure. it was easy for them to say! mister lee never approached her again. his desk was not that close to anna’s, and anna never caught him looking her way. but anna could not stop thinking about the incident, even when she was off work. in fact it was worse when she was off work, because then how did she know where mister lee was? she knew that if she went to ms davis, let alone to anybody higher up, they might express some sympathy but would say there was nothing they could do. and the police - forget it. they would probably laugh right in her face. she did not want to quit the job and go back to starving in her room. and even if she did - mister lee might find out where she lived and be lurking outside. anna looked up witches on line. she found a madame yora who specifically included “hexes” in her list of services offered. madame yora operated out of an apartment even smaller than anna’s and anna went to see her on a friday evening and explained her predicament. she brought along a picture she had printed, of an office christmas party from a couple of years before and mister lee was in it. madame yora glanced at the picture. this is good, but i don’t really need it. mister lee, works at the a——— company, that is all i really need. great, said anna. but what can you do? i can change the gentleman into a flea, said madame yoga, a flea on a dog. that sounds good, said anna. i don’t even like dogs, and try to avoid them. there is only one problem, said madame yora, one thing that might go wrong. and what might that be? sometimes if the stars are a bit out of line, the subject does not turn into a flea on a dog but into a werewolf. a werewolf! exclaimed anna. will he come after me? no, werewolves have no memories of anything that happened before they become werewolves. neither do fleas. anna paid madame yora her reasonable fee. mister lee did not appear at the office on monday morning , or on the days after that. and then, a week after anna’s visit to madame yora, a story appeared in the news. werewolf attacks suspected on north side anna and madame yora both saw the story at the same time. they each got up and went and looked out their windows. at the night sky, and the full moon.