it was the emperor’s birthday.
again.
the emperor had been emperor longer than anybody could remember.
but his birthdays were always celebrated with suitable pomp, and a holiday proclaimed throughout the empire.
the emperor was known to enjoy some of his birthdays more than others.
the emperor’s favorite throne was brought out and placed on a high platform in the main square of the imperial capital and he ascended the steps to it, with the help of the lord chamberlains and his most faithful servants, and he sat down on it.
a crowd of several millions - the entire population of the capital as well as hordes brought into from the countryside - thronged the streets around the platform and throne.
the imperial band played the good old times the emperor himself preferred, as well as some modernistic fare attuned to the taste of the younger generations of citizens.
the lord high chamberlain offered a few heartfelt words. as did the crown prince, and another couple of dozen of the emperor’s male and female children.
the bishops and hierophants and gurus of the empire’s more prominent religions spoke at greater length, some of them at much greater length.
generals and admirals of the imperial armies and navies spoke glowing words about the emperor’s leadership, and about the great peace that had lasted so long under his wise reign, and pledged to do everything in their power to maintain it.
all expressed gratitude for the emperor’s existence, and sincere hope that it would last indefinitely.
at length the speeches ended, and preparations were made for the grand finale of the celebration, an elaborate dance to be performed by a hundred of the most beautiful maidens of the empire.
but before the dance could begin, a small child suddenly broke away from the ranks of the crowd closest to the front of the platform, and ran across the thirty yards of empty space toward the imperial guards surrounding the platform.
i don’t like the emperor! the child cried. not one little bit! he is just a a smelly old dumbhead!
the child was quickly seized by the imperial guard and taken away and summarily executed.
the emperor became hysterical and collapsed, and was hurriedly taken away by the imperial chamberlains and physicians.
the hundred beautiful maidens gamely attempted to go on with their dance, but the celebration had been destroyed, and the crowd began to melt away, assisted in doing so by the imperial city police.
on being brought back to the imperial chambers, the emperor could not be consoled.
will you never understand, he kept repeating, will you never understand, that true peace and harmony will never prevail in the universe until i am loved by everybody! everybody1 what part of everybody do you not understand? everybody means everybody!
the imperial physicians finally got enough sedatives into the emperor to calm him down, and after hours of weeping and mumbling, he finally fell asleep.
an investigation into the child’s background and associates had already been begun by the imperial security service.
the night passed, the next day arrived, the emperor enjoyed his breakfast, and life in the empire went on as before.
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