ellen listened with an air of great attention as daphne, speaking for both twins, gave her an account of mother’s outrageous ultimatum.
“i do not see,” ellen announced when daphne had finished her recital, “quite what the problem is. the solution to your dilemma is quite obvious, so long as you are resolved to act in concert.”
“it is?’ daisy asked innocently.
“of course. you see the flaw in madame’s plan is this - she assumes that you will actually fight each other over the inheritance. madame, as you know, believes in nature red in tooth and claw, and all that. what she does not understand is that true civilization, true progress, is based on trust and cooperation, always has been, and ever will be.” ellen paused for effect
“that is all very well, ellen”, said daisy, “but how does it affect our particular case?”
“it is very simple. madame assumes you will try to outdo each other by finding the most comely swain you can. but as there will only be two contestants, one need only be more handsome than the other - they could both look like chimpanzees. and if there is only one suitor, he could look like anything at all - like hunchbacked jack, or the ogre under the bridge. all you two have to do is agree that one of you wlll marry - anyone at all, and then share equally with the other. and live happily ever after.”
“of course,” cried daphne, “we should have thought of that! oh, ellen, you are wonderful! so wise!”
“but,” said daisy. “we still need to find a husband - we can not order one from the greengrocer.”
“do not worry, my dears,” ellen smiled. “i have just the fellow for you - my brother jonathon. he will be happy to obey me in this. now, do you have a preference as to which of you he shall meet at the altar?”
daisy and daphne looked at each other helplessly.
“in that case, i shall flip a coin, if that is agreeable to you.” ellen produced a twenty-five cent piece. “heads, jonathon shall marry miss daisy - tails, he shall marry miss daphne.”
ellen flipped the coin with her right hand into her left palm and looked at it. “heads. miss daisy it is.”
“do not worry,” ellen smiled at the crestfallen daisy. “jonathon is actually not a half bad looking young fellow.”
*
two and a half years later.
a damp, foggy evening in the metropolis. daisy and daphne waked slowly through the streets they now called home.
jonathon had disappeared five months earlier. it had taken him a little over a year to cause the twins’ fortune to mysteriously and completely disappear.
daphne and daisy approached the building that contained the headquarters of the human improvement society. they had begun haunting it with some regularity, hoping to beg a few pennies from some of mother’s old comrades and acquaintances.
on this occasion what was their astonishment on seeing a young woman, dressed with restrained elegance, emerge from a cab in front of the headquarters.
it was ellen!
daisy and daphne rushed to greet her. as they did, a stylishly dressed young man also emerged from the cab and paid off the driver.
the young man bore a striking resemblance to jonathon, except that his hair was jet black instead of light brown, and he sported a neatly trimmed mustache and a monocle.
“ellen!” the twins cried in unison.
ellen turned her gaze on them.
“we are daisy and daphne, do you not recognize us?”
“oh, yes, although i remembered you as 'silly' and 'sorry'. be that as it may, i have an important engagement. i am, in fact, giving a little lecture - invitation only, i am afraid - to the human improvement society, and will improve my chances of it being well received by being on time to deliver it. now, if you will excuse me?”
“but, ellen,” cried daphne, “can we wait out here for you?”
“do as you like. i suppose you can wait out here forever, so long as you are not trespassing or breaking some other law.”
and with that, ellen walked up the well kept steps of the human improvement society, on the arm of the young man who resembled jonathon.
rain began to fall.
daisy and daphne took shelter in a nearby doorway. after a while, a police constable told them to move along.
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